Who would know that the person next to you in the bus was actually your soul mate, and that destiny brought you two together? Who would imagine that one ordinary morning, the person you came eye-to-eye was your long-sought spouse, and you were brought in contact in the deepest way possible?
Fast forward. Days filled with love, passion, desire and joie de vivre. And the movie is over. La fin. And then? We go for the next romance movie. A similar story starts all over again. We live the same longings, joys of reunion and satisfaction from sharing life. And then again, again...
When we look outside the screen, however, those nice feelings seem to get lost or at least diluted. We have to filter them through numerous life events to obtain a small sip. And the effect of that small sip is not permanent, either! Maybe it is the scarcity and transience of love in real life that makes the love stories so attractive. But there is a catch!
What you see in the movies is the experience of people who are living alone and who don't have an intimate partner to share life with. It is this absence that hones their thirst for love, and makes their, as well as our, experience in the movie so enjoyable. Have you ever seen movies where people with happy marriages are building adventures of passion with other people? That kind of movies don't get in the air. First, you have to divorce, or at least you must be in a torturous relationship to justify your "search for extraterrestrial life"!
So, what does this tell us? By fixing our gazes towards an unrealistic continuity of passion and desire, we are actually putting ourselves up for a "merciless brokenness" from those around us, because it is only by breaking from them and through the ensuing thirst of love and belonging that we are "allowed to" jump into an adventure to seek love, passion, belonging and joy. And then? When these feelings fade, we need to depart from that person to sail towards another relationship...
In short, love as in the movies is the worm on the hook. If you eat it, you lose what you have or what you can have. After all, movies are motion pictures. It is always one picture at a time you see. To see another one, you must leave what you have!
Or love as in the movies is the cheese in the labyrinth. If you follow its smell, you find yourself in a hunger game, continuously searching and suffering, and when you find the smallest morsel, savoring. How about getting out of the labyrinth and finding a whole kitchen of food? This very act is going to take you out of the movie world, like in the Truman Show. But it is going to be the real world you are going to move into; unlike the artificial sweeteners that feed your desires but not your body! And then, maybe, you can realize that different kinds of love can coexist and flourish together in your life, without having to abandon one to find another.
