Not Before You My Dear

Child care is one of the most challenging tasks of our time. Sometimes our work, sometimes our personal affairs intervene, and we end up either too busy or powerless to take care of them. Still, being a parent or an elder relative or simply a grown up in the society, we find ourselves from time to time face to face with children. Wouldn't it be nice if those brief moments could be transformed into condensed love capsules so that our failure at other times are compensated for?

Yes it would be nice, and I don't know if there is a way to do this. Nevertheless, there is something in your hands that can go for miles when it comes to conveying your love for that child. This "love pill" is inspired by a practice of Prophet Muhammad pbuh, which I would like to share with you here:

Anas bin Malik narrated:
"When the Prophet(s.a.w) would receive a man to shake hands with him, he would not remove his hand until he [the man] removed his, and he would not turn his face away from his face until the man turned and he would not be seen advancing his knees before one sitting with him."

Grade: weak, Tirmidhi, day of judgment, 2940

From this description, I see that the Prophet made sure that the person he is with feels the full presence then and there, and that they are not to be left alone until their hearts are content. This notion is, although narrated in the above hadith in consideration for adults, is also visible in the actions of Muhammad pbuh when dealing with children. For example, he would tend to his grandchildren even if they approach him in the middle of the Friday prayer, while he is delivering the sermon. He wouldn't distance them from himself even for the daily prayers; he would keep them on his shoulders.

So, if we take this example, one sunnah that is of utmost importance in childcare today would be "keeping the connection with the child until they let go". That is, if you are eye to eye, don't look elsewhere before they do; if you are hugging each other, don't release them until they release you.

It may sound silly or useless, but it is a challenge for the grown-ups of today, when they are facing great difficulty in staying in real contact with other grown-ups, and instead, drowning themselves in "screens". Not surprisingly, the children are imitating the same behavior, and they are plunging into an "endless" sea of imagination through screens, and they violently express their longing for "continuity" when the battery runs out.

So, why not use this longing for continuity for something real, i.e. you? Their quality time with you is going to translate into a quality presence with their Creator later on, God willing. And Muhammad pbuh is going to be happy with you, too, for such generations that are the light of the eye (Furkan 25/74).