Meeting place of the material and the spiritual, sexuality has always been a major factor in human life. By virtue of its spiritual aspect, it entertains the heart, and by virtue of its material aspect, it pleases the body. Even in the descriptions of the paradise, sexual references hold an important place. Throughout the history, from actual marriages to imagined fantasies, from forbidden love stories to forced encounters, people were impacted by sex. Sometimes, it meant freedom and prosperity, whereas at other times, it represented all of the vile buried in the human nature.
Talking about sex, one thing that automatically lights up in the minds is the female body. Throughout the history, there have been women who, willingly or unwillingly, followed a path where they used their bodies to provide service to men. Today, with the advent of the communication technologies, rise of the non-traditional gender types and with the evolution of the gender roles in the society, not just the amount but also the kinds of such services have tremendously increased. For example, other than the physical sex services all around the world (prostitution) and the consequent human trafficking, a significant amount of data demand through the internet is due to the porn industry. Pictures or videos of various levels of nudity are available ubiquitously. TV programs' an indispensable component has become an attractive woman. At work place, individuals that are more comely to the eye are preferred. What's more, an individual's or a society's rebellion against the traditional dogmas are often represented by removing the barriers before sexual expression. Briefly, today's global society is becoming increasingly sex centered and sex oriented.
Is this bad?
You may think, "what do you mean- is this bad?" Before answering this question, let's step back and calm down.
You may think, "what do you mean- is this bad?" Before answering this question, let's step back and calm down.
I want to make use of an analogy to approach this issue. Let's take the prohibition of pork in Islam. Is pork essentially bad, or is it bad because God has forbidden it? You can change this question as "is pork forbidden because of its harms or is it forbidden because God decreed so?" The short answer is that pork is forbidden, not because it has harms but, because God has decreed so. Similarly, pork is bad, not because it is essentially bad but, because God has forbidden it. As you see, in terms of religious matters, the prohibition or obligation of something is really because of God's decree. So, for example, even if people remove harms of eating pork using technology, it would still be forbidden, it would still be considered as bad.
Coming back to being sex centered, is it essentially bad or is it conditionally bad? As you can guess, sexuality or sexual expression is not essentially bad. On the contrary it has got many benefits. However, there are certain boundaries established in this matter. Therefore, anything out of those boundaries are unconditionally bad, and things that are in them are potentially acceptable. Note that something potentially acceptable is not necessarily good. The manners thereof can render them unacceptable. For example eating can help with your health, but excessive or unhealthy eating can ruin your health. Then, in terms of sexuality, we need to determine the boundaries that are clearly and directly drawn by God, and the good manners of using the blessings therein.
In the above paragraph, I italicized the phrase "directly drawn by God", because over the time, due to the interference of cultures and human psychology, interpretation and implementation of the book of God has dramatically deteriorated and became more difficult. Today, the boundaries that are directly set by God are not crystal clear. Be reminded that even for you, the reader, your personal psychology and the social pressures surrounding you may prevent you from discovering what those boundaries are!
Then the first question we need to answer is "what are the boundaries in sexuality? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?"
In trying to answer these questions, it is important to be cautious so that the things that we treat as religious but which are actually not do not get on our way! What do I mean by this? I already mentioned above the cultural and psychological interference on the interpretation and implementation of religion. Almost anyone could agree on this abstract idea. But when it comes to identifying the artifacts of the interference, you can immediately see a reactionary conservatism. Many people who voice the same idea suddenly start defending the jurisdictions of certain scholars and some historical key figures, not necessarily tracing and questioning their relationship to the book of God.
A clear example of this reactionary conservatism can be seen in the "golden age of atheism", that is the 19th century. With the revolutionary developments in science and the dramatic expansion of the human's capability to understand and control the nature, many questions arose regarding God and belief in general. At the time, most, if not all, of those questions were left unanswered. This situation paved the way to disbelief and to the rejection of a creator. In fact, energized by the power acquired through science, the souls would not be willing to listen or accept those answers, anyway. And this is the psychological dimension of disbelief. But what I would like to come to is the divergence of reactionary conservatism exhibited by the religious circles of that time and the teachings of the book of God (I am specifically talking about the Quran).
Due to the negative effects of the rational thought and their inability to confront it, the dogmatic religious circles demonized the rational thought and science. After extended periods of polarization between the two sides, the religious groups started voicing the idea that you could learn and use science as a weapon against the West. Instead of listening to these religious people of the 19th century, if you look at what the book of God says, you see a completely different picture. First of all, God Himself is inviting people to question things, including His own existence and attributes. Second, God is admonishing humans to treat the creation as His verses and signs, and so, to read them (e.g. Al-Baqara 164)! Third, repeatedly, God is reminding the people the lethal effects of following the path of the ancestors without critically questioning them (Al-Maidah 104).
So, "the religion as told by the scholars" and "the religion as read from the book of God" were clearly different from each other during the 19th and early 20th century. Furthermore, if you were to question this matter, you could receive an answer like "you are not well-versed in understanding the book of God; leave that work to the scholars!". That is, those scholars were not only misleading you but were also blocking your way!
If you take this example, and return to our subject, you may estimate how deep a cut we must make in order to learn the limits in sexuality God has set for us.
After this introduction, one can make an exhaustive search of the Quran to see the verses relevant to this discussion. My intention here is not to talk about all aspects of the issue, but scrutinize what is called today sex work, and do a brainstorm thereof.
Today, even among the societies that promote monogamy and despise polygamy, many men have affairs besides their wives. This situation has even been the subject of jokes such as "I am a serial monogamist". The concept of family has deteriorated, and satisfying the desires is increasingly becoming the only target of inter-gender interactions. On the other hand, legal or illegal prostitution is providing the interested men what they need in exchange of money, and without trailing responsibilities. In the societies that accept polygamy, although it is not necessarily widespread, there is a growing trend of monogamy fueled by women.
If you objectively consider the two sides, take into account the realities of the world mentioned at the beginning, and also keep in mind the biological wiring of men, it is not difficult to see that sufficing with only one woman in all aspects and for a lifetime is impractical and impossible for a man in the modern society. That is, even those who claim the opposite do so without realizing that they are visually fed with the scenes of many women in the daily life and their images in the media. Even the women who contribute to what is going on think that this state is a manifestation of their freedom, and they are not willing to return to the dark ages where women are victimized by men. But still, the end result doesn't change much. What was available secretly is now available openly, and men don't even have to pay for it! So today, in one respect, polygamy is really in effect, but people are not happy to admit this truth. This state is, probably, one projection of a hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) regarding the end of times:
I would like to end this first episode by posing a list of questions, some of which are mentioned above:
Coming back to being sex centered, is it essentially bad or is it conditionally bad? As you can guess, sexuality or sexual expression is not essentially bad. On the contrary it has got many benefits. However, there are certain boundaries established in this matter. Therefore, anything out of those boundaries are unconditionally bad, and things that are in them are potentially acceptable. Note that something potentially acceptable is not necessarily good. The manners thereof can render them unacceptable. For example eating can help with your health, but excessive or unhealthy eating can ruin your health. Then, in terms of sexuality, we need to determine the boundaries that are clearly and directly drawn by God, and the good manners of using the blessings therein.
In the above paragraph, I italicized the phrase "directly drawn by God", because over the time, due to the interference of cultures and human psychology, interpretation and implementation of the book of God has dramatically deteriorated and became more difficult. Today, the boundaries that are directly set by God are not crystal clear. Be reminded that even for you, the reader, your personal psychology and the social pressures surrounding you may prevent you from discovering what those boundaries are!
Then the first question we need to answer is "what are the boundaries in sexuality? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?"
In trying to answer these questions, it is important to be cautious so that the things that we treat as religious but which are actually not do not get on our way! What do I mean by this? I already mentioned above the cultural and psychological interference on the interpretation and implementation of religion. Almost anyone could agree on this abstract idea. But when it comes to identifying the artifacts of the interference, you can immediately see a reactionary conservatism. Many people who voice the same idea suddenly start defending the jurisdictions of certain scholars and some historical key figures, not necessarily tracing and questioning their relationship to the book of God.
A clear example of this reactionary conservatism can be seen in the "golden age of atheism", that is the 19th century. With the revolutionary developments in science and the dramatic expansion of the human's capability to understand and control the nature, many questions arose regarding God and belief in general. At the time, most, if not all, of those questions were left unanswered. This situation paved the way to disbelief and to the rejection of a creator. In fact, energized by the power acquired through science, the souls would not be willing to listen or accept those answers, anyway. And this is the psychological dimension of disbelief. But what I would like to come to is the divergence of reactionary conservatism exhibited by the religious circles of that time and the teachings of the book of God (I am specifically talking about the Quran).
Due to the negative effects of the rational thought and their inability to confront it, the dogmatic religious circles demonized the rational thought and science. After extended periods of polarization between the two sides, the religious groups started voicing the idea that you could learn and use science as a weapon against the West. Instead of listening to these religious people of the 19th century, if you look at what the book of God says, you see a completely different picture. First of all, God Himself is inviting people to question things, including His own existence and attributes. Second, God is admonishing humans to treat the creation as His verses and signs, and so, to read them (e.g. Al-Baqara 164)! Third, repeatedly, God is reminding the people the lethal effects of following the path of the ancestors without critically questioning them (Al-Maidah 104).
So, "the religion as told by the scholars" and "the religion as read from the book of God" were clearly different from each other during the 19th and early 20th century. Furthermore, if you were to question this matter, you could receive an answer like "you are not well-versed in understanding the book of God; leave that work to the scholars!". That is, those scholars were not only misleading you but were also blocking your way!
If you take this example, and return to our subject, you may estimate how deep a cut we must make in order to learn the limits in sexuality God has set for us.
After this introduction, one can make an exhaustive search of the Quran to see the verses relevant to this discussion. My intention here is not to talk about all aspects of the issue, but scrutinize what is called today sex work, and do a brainstorm thereof.
Today, even among the societies that promote monogamy and despise polygamy, many men have affairs besides their wives. This situation has even been the subject of jokes such as "I am a serial monogamist". The concept of family has deteriorated, and satisfying the desires is increasingly becoming the only target of inter-gender interactions. On the other hand, legal or illegal prostitution is providing the interested men what they need in exchange of money, and without trailing responsibilities. In the societies that accept polygamy, although it is not necessarily widespread, there is a growing trend of monogamy fueled by women.
If you objectively consider the two sides, take into account the realities of the world mentioned at the beginning, and also keep in mind the biological wiring of men, it is not difficult to see that sufficing with only one woman in all aspects and for a lifetime is impractical and impossible for a man in the modern society. That is, even those who claim the opposite do so without realizing that they are visually fed with the scenes of many women in the daily life and their images in the media. Even the women who contribute to what is going on think that this state is a manifestation of their freedom, and they are not willing to return to the dark ages where women are victimized by men. But still, the end result doesn't change much. What was available secretly is now available openly, and men don't even have to pay for it! So today, in one respect, polygamy is really in effect, but people are not happy to admit this truth. This state is, probably, one projection of a hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) regarding the end of times:
"From among the portents of the hour are the following: ... men will decrease and women will increase so much so that for every fifty women there will be one man to look after them." (Grade: Sahih. Bukhari, Drinks, 5577)
For some, especially the extremists, the solution to all this is to wrap all the women in black garments, but that is not the Islamic stand point, and I don't feel obligated to say anymore than that. We are the family of humanity, and we are going to live together. And in order to live together, our first job is to protect that unity and peace among people. So, we have to find a solution within this framework.
If you dig deeper into sex related life facts, you see that the picture gets much worse for those who are economically unfortunate in this world. Whether in their own societies or by being transported to another country, many women willingly or unwillingly work in the sex related businesses. As benefits, they find economical means that would otherwise be impossible. With that income, they can have a descent life, or raise their children and prepare a future for them, or support their families abroad. However, doing this, they may be subject to violence, for which they have no protection.
It may feel like I am supporting prostitution and the porn industry, but that's not what I am doing. All I am trying to do is to show that by disregarding the central role of sex in our individual or social lives, we are not solving the problem. Or by ignoring the available avenues opened in Islam, we are not getting more civilized. Rather, we are making things worse! More bluntly, by shunning the sexual freedoms and human employment types introduced in Islam, we are neither solving a problem nor acquiring a state pleasant to God. We are creating a hypocritical life style.
Let me point out again that my intention here is not to discuss the pluses and minuses or how's and when's of polygamy. However, as the discussion goes on, the current subject and others converge, and there is a need for mentioning outside references. So, although I personally haven't done extensive writing on polygamy, I did write a few surrounding that idea, if you are interested (Love as in the movies, An Analysis of Muslims' Opinions on Polygamy, A Different Perspective on Sexuality, Points Missed About An-Nisa 34). Similarly, LGBT in context of Islam is a controversial one, and I had a series of blogs on the topic, if you want to read (LGBT1, LGBT2, LGBT3, LGBT4).
It may feel like I am supporting prostitution and the porn industry, but that's not what I am doing. All I am trying to do is to show that by disregarding the central role of sex in our individual or social lives, we are not solving the problem. Or by ignoring the available avenues opened in Islam, we are not getting more civilized. Rather, we are making things worse! More bluntly, by shunning the sexual freedoms and human employment types introduced in Islam, we are neither solving a problem nor acquiring a state pleasant to God. We are creating a hypocritical life style.
Let me point out again that my intention here is not to discuss the pluses and minuses or how's and when's of polygamy. However, as the discussion goes on, the current subject and others converge, and there is a need for mentioning outside references. So, although I personally haven't done extensive writing on polygamy, I did write a few surrounding that idea, if you are interested (Love as in the movies, An Analysis of Muslims' Opinions on Polygamy, A Different Perspective on Sexuality, Points Missed About An-Nisa 34). Similarly, LGBT in context of Islam is a controversial one, and I had a series of blogs on the topic, if you want to read (LGBT1, LGBT2, LGBT3, LGBT4).
I would like to end this first episode by posing a list of questions, some of which are mentioned above:
- What are the boundaries in sexuality directly set by God? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?
- What are psychological and sociological factors hindering the exploration of possible avenues within the licit? Can they be removed or at least tamed?
- What are possible solutions from the Quran and example of the Prophet Muhammad in this context? How can they be interpreted in context of our times and conditions?
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