A Brave and Daring Invitation to the Right Hand - 2

At the end of the first episode of this series, I had ended with a set of questions. Here, I would like to begin with brief answers to those questions, and then explore further issues under the same topic, that is the licit freedoms in Islam in the realm of sexuality.

1. What are the boundaries in sexuality directly set by God? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?

This is a separate topic on its own, and the obvious issues can be found anywhere. Here, I am going to suffice with giving links to previous blogs about the controversial issues. LGBT issues (1, 2, 3, 4, addendum), A critique of Muslims' view of polygamy, Legitimacy of Mut'a, Artificial companions.

Also, I would like to add that, as with anything that is licit, extreme concentration on or obsession with it may lead to ignoring or neglecting the clear orders and prohibitions of God. However, this is a fine point, since "how much" changes from person to person. So, one cannot set a clear boundary or formulate a measurable maximum quantity. Rather, every individual must judge themselves on this issue, and return to God, if they realize they have gone too far. But again, such introspection regarding the usage of the licit freedoms is an issue exclusively between that individual and their Lord.

2. What are the psychological and sociological factors hindering the exploration of possible avenues within the licit? Can they be removed or at least tamed?

In three previous blogs, I explored similar problems in other aspects of life and religion (benefits of sin, roles in family, benefits of pride). There are several factors hindering a broad exploration of what is allowed by God and what is explicitly forbidden by Him. Fear factor is an important one among them. The image of a God that is ready to punish people for their sins forces most individuals to act conservatively. The same psychology prevents an objective analysis of prophet Muhammad's pbuh life and teachings. Furthermore, the instinct of the religious leaders to "make rules in order to ensure a clear path to the paradise", which is again subconsciously propelled by the same fear factor, builds a wall of "knowledge" that can not be overcome by the public.

On top of these, the cultural barriers and social pressures curtail anything that is out of the norms, and sexual matters are no exception. Such social barriers sometimes include unjust and unsubstantiated limitations that instigate the victims to venture into anything that could deliver them. Last but not the least, the outbreak of immorality and its unpreventable reach to individuals of all ages trigger a reactionary but understandable conservatism. On this last point, it must be noted that the relentless actions of the business people who want to make money through sex-related businesses exacerbate the problem at all levels.

Given all these complications, is it at all possible to endeavor a search of the licit in the sexual realm according to Islam? The answer is of course yes, but that doesn't mean that that "yes" comes with no costs or challenges. Any individual pondering such exploration must make their own situation analysis, and proceed accordingly. In any event, the believer must always bear in mind that God is with them as their companion in their exploration (Quran 2/257).

3. What are the possible solutions from the Quran and example of the Prophet Muhammad in this context? How can they be interpreted in context of our times and conditions?

At this point, I am still researching this topic, and sharing with you my findings and thoughts. Having said that, I must admit that there a few concepts that are promising to help, some of which I already mentioned in this series or in the previous blogs that I gave the links to. These are the concept of slavery, the distinction of genders based on functions rather than biological differences, the concepts of marriage and divorce, the concept of polygamy. Aside from these, the concept of guardianship (for orphans or women) can be helpful, too. It is possible that other concepts are going to become a source of inspiration with the guidance of Allah.

Having answered these questions, we can start our journey in the second episode. Now, I would like to delve into two matters: 1. the distinction of the licit and the illicit in case of a relationship, 2. difference of having a wife versus having a concubine. As implied by the last item, I am focusing on the rather male-centered aspects of the issue, although it actually has much broader spectrum. Nevertheless, the male-centered issues form the majority in terms of sex demand, and so, I am giving the priority to that. Other aspects have been partly touched upon in the other blogs I mentioned earlier.

So, let's formulate our first question. What makes a marriage licit, and what makes a relationship out of wedlock illicit? What distinguishes a prostitute from a wife? In order to answer these questions, I am going to expand the spectrum and add two other items: mut'a and having a concubine. Then, the broader question is why "a wife and a concubine" are within the licit, whereas "a prostitute and a mut'a partner" out of the licit? The answer to these questions is important, because, if we can really identify the root causes, then we can search for other possible applications within the licit that haven't been explored so far, but are viable today.

If you make a search about the reasons or wisdom behind the regulations regarding relationships, more often than not, you come across with explanations that are based on the life and technological conditions of the past. That is, given the social facts and the individuals of today and given the technological means available to us now, almost all of the reasoning behind these 'why's collapse. The bottom line, and actually it is the start line, for the answers we are after is the explicit Quranic verses.

You can easily find clear verses about the prohibition of prostitution (25/68), but when it comes to mut'a, it is not as straight forward; or at least so it seems based on the available literature. Looking at this issue in a previous blog, based on evidence from the verses of Quran, I argued that it is the initial intention to stay together forever that makes the regular marriage licit, and it is the lack of that intention and the presence of a definite limit on the relationship what makes mut'a illicit. Now with our current discussion, you can see that the same difference exists in case of prostitution, too. That is, the set duration for the relationship is at the core of why mut'a is a form of prostitution, and not a form of marriage. Similarly, when a person would have a concubine, even if it is not for a life time, it is not a relationship to expire at a predetermined time either. So, unlike mut'a, the lack of a known end to the relationship is at the root of the licit status of having a concubine. Of course, there is much more to talk about on the issue, and that is why I am presenting the table below for the comparison of conditions under these different types of relationships. As we go along the discussion, I am going to explain the details of this table.

If you look at the similarities between the four types, you see three things in common: 1. an initial payment to a guardian or strife against the guardian (i.e. a war), 2. having sex and 3. the ability of the woman to end the relationship. About these, first I would like to clarify that a war in Islamic context is not waged to acquire slaves, rather that situation is only a conditional social fact, which applied frequently at the time of the prophet Muhammad pbuh, but doesn't have to be the case always. On this, I am not going to go into the discussion of the case of slavery in Islam to avoid digression. The second clarification I must make is that a slave can ask to end their relationship, and the master must accept it; but there is a procedure. Nevertheless, it is possible and doable. That is why I used the title "concubine w/o a", that is concubine without an agreement to finish the relationship. After these clarifications, if we look back at the similarities between the four relationship types, it is obvious that we cannot identify what makes the licit licit and what makes the illicit illicit. For that, we need to focus on their differences.

As mentioned above, the first and major difference between the licit and the illicit is the definite end to the relationship. Following that, secrecy of the adultery versus the publicity of the marriage comes (Tirmidhi/Nikah/6). This very point is actually the beginning of a series of others that relate to the involvement of the society in the relationship, which serves as a social security. Namely, right to inherit, obligation to look after the child, basic healthcare and prosecution of any mistreatment are the linked elements to the social aspect of the licit. Conversely, lack of these are present in case of prostitution. As a side note, those involved in prostitution can barely receive protection from mistreatment or find other forms of social support. Their major support is only from each other. Healthwise, their status is conditional upon the country, their awareness of healthcare and their income level. In case of a concubine, however, all of the social securities available to a wife are also available to her, except becoming an inheritor to the master.

In order to introduce the next point of comparison, I am going to employ a question. If a man can do fine sexually thanks to his concubines and even can have children, why should he marry at all? What is the difference between a wife and a concubine? Your natural reaction to these questions will probably include "marriage is not just about sex.", and that is the proper approach in this case. A spouse is a friend for life and beyond. The couple stands together in the society, and they present themselves at meetings, invitations, etc. However, a concubine is not a friend, but a service provider exclusively at home. This is a business relationship rather than a friendship. So, as the answer to the question at the beginning, even if a man can do ok sexually with a concubine, he is not going to have a spouse to stand with out of the house. If he is so in love with and desiring of his concubine, he should marry her and continue the relationship as husband and wife.

The last comparison to make is the issue of salary/wage/compensation. A prostitute receives a wage for the service she does, whereas a wife or a concubine does not receive a wage for the same act. However, there is a sheer difference between a wife and a concubine on this matter. A wife is a committed friend for life, and the husband is likewise. So, sex life is a shared experience for a couple, not a business interaction. But a concubine is a service provider (who can serve in many ways, including sexual), and there is a compensation she receives from this job, albeit not as a wage. And this point is actually going to serve us as a ramp to climb to a subtle level in the discussion: the Right Hand. This important and unexplored concept is going to be the topic of the next episode, God willing.

Opportunities Coming with Forgetting

Throughout the history, there have been many unfortunate events in and among the societies. These include wars and murders, as well. Despite those black pages of our history, life goes on, and to our surprise, the history repeats itself. Why does this happen? Is it only the bad things in history that repeat themselves, or is it that the good things also reoccur? Is there a subtle wisdom beyond our immediate perception embedded somewhere in all this?

First of all, when things are going all well, we don't say "history is repeating itself". It is only when misfortunes start happening that we make such comments. It is only when we are struck by discomforting events that we endeavor a comprehensive search for meaning and guidance, whereby we conclude history repeats itself. But if it is repeating itself, why is it so difficult to figure out?

In a quote attributed to Sydney J. Harris, an influential journalist, he says: "History repeats itself, but in such cunning disguise that we never detect the resemblance until the damage is done." So, there are recurring patterns but there is no exact repetition, we can say. Or, in the rephrased words of Heraclitus: "You cannot swim in the same river twice." Both you and the river are changing. Then, what is it that we are missing, which in turn makes us forget the well-known or blinds us towards the obvious?

"And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves." (59/19)

In the classical stance, forgetting Allah is understood as not obeying His orders, ignoring the prescribed acts of worship, etc. Although this could be true, when we look at the history, we witness that even the observant believers are not spared from the wrath of history when it repeats itself. So, there must be more than that described by the classical view.

In the Quran, we find another occasion of "forgetting", which is deliberate and which has dreadful consequences for the forgotten:

"And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind. He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?" [ Allah ] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten." " (20/124-126)

So, ignoring the signs of God can count as part of forgetting God, because as the verse explains this is leading to "not remembering Him". Therefore, coming back to our quest, be it a practicing believer or a complete non-believer, a person can face the consequences of the repetition of history, because they are not reading the verses (signs) of God encoded in the creation and not taking lessons thereof. Such people also become negligent and oblivious of themselves, too, hence the difficulty in realizing the repeating patterns of the history.

Such forgetfulness of the self and the subsequent tribulations are mentioned in the Quran (e.g. 26/202, 29/53). However, unexpected arrival of blessings is also recounted (65/2-3). The common point between the two is the ignorance towards what is really going on around, and so, Quran is instructing that history repeats itself not only in its bad aspects but also in the good ones! Furthermore, forgetfulness or ignorance is part of both! Let's dig more into this.

When Moses (pbuh) had left his home town, he stayed with Jethro (pbuh) for about a decade (28/27-28), and when he was finally ready to return to Egypt for his mission given by God, people had forgotten about what had happened "long ago", not just the case of Moses but also the slaughter of the male babies of the Children of Israel by the Pharaoh. This forgetfulness was to such an extent that when Moses came back to rescue them and Pharaoh restarted his former acts of oppression, hence the history repeating itself, most of the Children of Israel wanted to step down and take refuge in the rule of the Pharaoh, their oppressor and the murderer of their babies (7/129). But, this time, the forgetfulness of these people preceded the coming of Moses and the oncoming good days.

When Joseph (pbuh) was thrown in the well by his brothers, years passed and eventually, he and his apparent murder was practically forgotten by the people and his brothers (12/15). However, this forgetfulness was used by the divine will as a precursor to the rise of Joseph over his brothers (12/89-90).

Last but not the least, the re-emergence of the people of the cave took place only after they became a legend among people.

In all these cases, the term required for the forgetting was also needed for these heroes to get ready! Therefore, the forgetfulness of people in the face of historical patterns and the consequent recurrences can be precursor of blessings, but good is only established with the planned and consistent actions of the good-willed people (9/14, 53/39). So, the people who want to establish good but who are suffering from the rule of evil must make use of the periods of people's oblivion so that when God brings them to a powerful position, they have a plan of actions that can be implemented immediately to engrave the good to the souls and prevent the recurrence of evil. As the commonsense puts it, "fortune favors the prepared."

A Brave and Daring Invitation to the Right Hand - 1

Meeting place of the material and the spiritual, sexuality has always been a major factor in human life. By virtue of its spiritual aspect, it entertains the heart, and by virtue of its material aspect, it pleases the body. Even in the descriptions of the paradise, sexual references hold an important place. Throughout the history, from actual marriages to imagined fantasies, from forbidden love stories to forced encounters, people were impacted by sex. Sometimes, it meant freedom and prosperity, whereas at other times, it represented all of the vile buried in the human nature.

Talking about sex, one thing that automatically lights up in the minds is the female body. Throughout the history, there have been women who, willingly or unwillingly, followed a path where they used their bodies to provide service to men. Today, with the advent of the communication technologies, rise of the non-traditional gender types and with the evolution of the gender roles in the society, not just the amount but also the kinds of such services have tremendously increased. For example, other than the physical sex services all around the world (prostitution) and the consequent human trafficking, a significant amount of data demand through the internet is due to the porn industry. Pictures or videos of various levels of nudity are available ubiquitously. TV programs' an indispensable component has become an attractive woman. At work place, individuals that are more comely to the eye are preferred. What's more, an individual's or a society's rebellion against the traditional dogmas are often represented by removing the barriers before sexual expression. Briefly, today's global society is becoming increasingly sex centered and sex oriented.

Is this bad?

You may think, "what do you mean- is this bad?" Before answering this question, let's step back and calm down.

I want to make use of an analogy to approach this issue. Let's take the prohibition of pork in Islam. Is pork essentially bad, or is it bad because God has forbidden it? You can change this question as "is pork forbidden because of its harms or is it forbidden because God decreed so?" The short answer is that pork is forbidden, not because it has harms but, because God has decreed so. Similarly, pork is bad, not because it is essentially bad but, because God has forbidden it. As you see, in terms of religious matters, the prohibition or obligation of something is really because of God's decree. So, for example, even if people remove harms of eating pork using technology, it would still be forbidden, it would still be considered as bad.

Coming back to being sex centered, is it essentially bad or is it conditionally bad? As you can guess, sexuality or sexual expression is not essentially bad. On the contrary it has  got many benefits. However, there are certain boundaries established in this matter. Therefore, anything out of those boundaries are unconditionally bad, and things that are in them are potentially acceptable. Note that something potentially acceptable is not necessarily good. The manners thereof can render them unacceptable. For example eating can help with your health, but excessive or unhealthy eating can ruin your health. Then, in terms of sexuality, we need to determine the boundaries that are clearly and directly drawn by God, and the good manners of using the blessings therein.

In the above paragraph, I italicized the phrase "directly drawn by God", because over the time, due to the interference of cultures and human psychology, interpretation and implementation of the book of God has dramatically deteriorated and became more difficult. Today, the boundaries that are directly set by God are not crystal clear. Be reminded that even for you, the reader, your personal psychology and the social pressures surrounding you may prevent you from discovering what those boundaries are!

Then the first question we need to answer is "what are the boundaries in sexuality? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?"

In trying to answer these questions, it is important to be cautious so that the things that we treat as religious but which are actually not do not get on our way! What do I mean by this? I already mentioned above the cultural and psychological interference on the interpretation and implementation of religion. Almost anyone could agree on this abstract idea. But when it comes to identifying the artifacts of the interference, you can immediately see a reactionary conservatism. Many people who voice the same idea suddenly start defending the jurisdictions of certain scholars and some historical key figures, not necessarily tracing and questioning their relationship to the book of God.

A clear example of this reactionary conservatism can be seen in the "golden age of atheism", that is the 19th century. With the revolutionary developments in science and the dramatic expansion of the human's capability to understand and control the nature, many questions arose regarding God and belief in general. At the time, most, if not all, of those questions were left unanswered. This situation paved the way to disbelief and to the rejection of a creator. In fact, energized by the power acquired through science, the souls would not be willing to listen or accept those answers, anyway. And this is the psychological dimension of disbelief. But what I would like to come to is the divergence of reactionary conservatism exhibited by the religious circles of that time and the teachings of the book of God (I am specifically talking about the Quran).

Due to the negative effects of the rational thought and their inability to confront it, the dogmatic religious circles demonized the rational thought and science. After extended periods of polarization between the two sides, the religious groups started voicing the idea that you could learn and use science as a weapon against the West. Instead of listening to these religious people of the 19th century, if you look at what the book of God says, you see a completely different picture. First of all, God Himself is inviting people to question things, including His own existence and attributes. Second, God is admonishing humans to treat the creation as His verses and signs, and so, to read them (e.g. Al-Baqara 164)! Third, repeatedly, God is reminding the people the lethal effects of following the path of the ancestors without critically questioning them (Al-Maidah 104).

So, "the religion as told by the scholars" and "the religion as read from the book of God" were clearly different from each other during the 19th and early 20th century. Furthermore, if you were to question this matter, you could receive an answer like "you are not well-versed in understanding the book of God; leave that work to the scholars!". That is, those scholars were not only misleading you but were also blocking your way!

If you take this example, and return to our subject, you may estimate how deep a cut we must make in order to learn the limits in sexuality God has set for us.

After this introduction, one can make an exhaustive search of the Quran to see the verses relevant to this discussion. My intention here is not to talk about all aspects of the issue, but scrutinize what is called today sex work, and do a brainstorm thereof.

Today, even among the societies that promote monogamy and despise polygamy, many men have affairs besides their wives. This situation has even been the subject of jokes such as "I am a serial monogamist". The concept of family has deteriorated, and satisfying the desires is increasingly becoming the only target of inter-gender interactions. On the other hand, legal or illegal prostitution is providing the interested men what they need in exchange of money, and without trailing responsibilities. In the societies that accept polygamy, although it is not necessarily widespread, there is a growing trend of monogamy fueled by women.

If you objectively consider the two sides, take into account the realities of the world mentioned at the beginning, and also keep in mind the biological wiring of men, it is not difficult to see that sufficing with only one woman in all aspects and for a lifetime is impractical and impossible for a man in the modern society. That is, even those who claim the opposite do so without realizing that they are visually fed with the scenes of many women in the daily life and their images in the media. Even the women who contribute to what is going on think that this state is a manifestation of their freedom, and they are not willing to return to the dark ages where women are victimized by men. But still, the end result doesn't change much. What was available secretly is now available openly, and men don't even have to pay for it! So today, in one respect, polygamy is really in effect, but people are not happy to admit this truth. This state is, probably, one projection of a hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) regarding the end of times:

"From among the portents of the hour are the following: ... men will decrease and women will increase so much so that for every fifty women there will be one man to look after them." (Grade: Sahih. Bukhari, Drinks, 5577)

For some, especially the extremists, the solution to all this is to wrap all the women in black garments, but that is not the Islamic stand point, and I don't feel obligated to say anymore than that. We are the family of humanity, and we are going to live together. And in order to live together, our first job is to protect that unity and peace among people. So, we have to find a solution within this framework.

If you dig deeper into sex related life facts, you see that the picture gets much worse for those who are economically unfortunate in this world. Whether in their own societies or by being transported to another country, many women willingly or unwillingly work in the sex related businesses. As benefits, they find economical means that would otherwise be impossible. With that income, they can have a descent life, or raise their children and prepare a future for them, or support their families abroad. However, doing this, they may be subject to violence, for which they have no protection.

It may feel like I am supporting prostitution and the porn industry, but that's not what I am doing. All I am trying to do is to show that by disregarding the central role of sex in our individual or social lives, we are not solving the problem. Or by ignoring the available avenues opened in Islam, we are not getting more civilized. Rather, we are making things worse! More bluntly, by shunning the sexual freedoms and human employment types introduced in Islam, we are neither solving a problem nor acquiring a state pleasant to God. We are creating a hypocritical life style.

Let me point out again that my intention here is not to discuss the pluses and minuses or how's and when's of polygamy. However, as the discussion goes on, the current subject and others converge, and there is a need for mentioning outside references. So, although I personally haven't done extensive writing on polygamy, I did write a few surrounding that idea, if you are interested (Love as in the movies, An Analysis of Muslims' Opinions on Polygamy, A Different Perspective on Sexuality, Points Missed About An-Nisa 34). Similarly, LGBT in context of Islam is a controversial one, and I had a series of blogs on the topic, if you want to read (LGBT1, LGBT2, LGBT3, LGBT4).

I would like to end this first episode by posing a list of questions, some of which are mentioned above:

• What are the boundaries in sexuality directly set by God? And for things within the limits, how much concentration is acceptable?
• What are psychological and sociological factors hindering the exploration of possible avenues within the licit? Can they be removed or at least tamed?
• What are possible solutions from the Quran and example of the Prophet Muhammad in this context? How can they be interpreted in context of our times and conditions?